Late Hours, Lousy Food

Ok, ok, perhaps I’ve been a bit harsh in my titling of this piece. However, after months and months of waiting, my experience at the world famous Pizzeria Bianco was a complete and utter let down. Known for having America’s #1 pizza, of course Darin and I had to stop in for a bite. “Stop in”; however, is the last way to word any arrival to Pizzeria Bianco. 

All patrons should be aware, as Darin and I were, if you want a piece of the Bianco pie, you better be ready to wait. No problem, good things come to those who wait, right?! And wait we did… and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. Despite arriving before the 5pm opening hour, Darin stood in line for a good hour before even putting our name on the list. Finally arriving to the hostess, she graciously explained how the system worked - you placed your name on the list and check in every hour seeing how close to a seat you are. The wait - 5 hours (on a weekday)! A word of caution to those who plan to dine here; please make sure you don’t go hungry.

After a long day of work and a missed lunch hour, I was already famished. Ok, so Darin and I predicted a long wait and 5 hours - that gave us plenty of time to eat before we ate. Already downtown, we headed over to Hanny’s to grab a relaxing glass of wine and a bite to tide me over. Leaving Hanny’s, we still had hours until our full dinner. Deciding to go check on our spot on the list, we headed back to Pizzeria Bianco. Of course, our names hadn’t budged. Instead of aimlessly wondering, we decided to hunker down at the outdoor tables and wait it out. Cold and hungry, my patience was quickly wearing thin. While waiting and growing more and more agitated. at least we had the comfort we weren’t the only ones. There was a steady stream of people coming and questioning, “is this worth it?”. 

Finally, our names were called! I must say, hearing our names was like being the winners of a well coveted prize. All the other poor diners anticipating when the next seat would open. Placed in corner seats at the bar, I was not about to complain - a seats a seat and I took it with pleasure. Unfortuantely, that is where my positive attitude ended. After hours of waiting, it looked liked my body had started to defeat me. My head throbbed and instantly got a wave of nausea. If you know me, you know my headaches are the bane of my existence. All those hours of waiting were a complete fail. 

I forced down some bread and severely held back the rising lump in my stomach until the pizza arrived. The margherita pizza looked good, but the inevitable question was how good would it taste? The second pizza we ordered was the Wise Guy, with wood roasted onion, house smoked mozzarella and fennel sausage. While the margherita pizza was pleasing to the eye, the Wise Guy had the adverse affect on my olfactory nerves. With the overwhelming smokey, smokey smell that lump in my stomach quickly shot up. I had to get out of there. But I waited all that time - we had finally made it in doors to the world known pizzeria and had the food at our hands. I quickly managed to swallow down a few slices of the margherita pizza. While I’ll blame the subpar taste partially on my untimely ailments, the pizza really was NOTHING to write home about with a too thin and soggy crust. Both Humble Pie and Grazie bring a more substantially pie to the table. 

American’s #1 pizza? I’m left wondering whose missed out on all the more delectable East Coast pizzerias. 

Pizzeria Bianco is housed in a quaint, historic brick building and has a warm dining room feel. I don’t mind that the owner wants to keep it small. I can understand and do welcome the attitude to preserve the local, neighborhood semblance. Nonetheless, the hype is bigger than the bite. 

House Made Country Bread & Olive Oil. The oil olive was more pungent (in a good way) than the olive oil I’m used to. One would think after having their patrons wait for hours on end, they could offer this up complimentary - one would think wrong. 

The Margherita Pizza. I’ll give it this - the ingredients were fresh. 

The Wise Guy. If you like smothered campfires you’ll have no problem chocking these down. Whoa, was the smell overwhelming. I couldn’t muster this one at all. 

Would I go back? I had high hopes. I hate saying it but… no, never.